Once again someone gets it right!!                   (Posted 8 August 2005)


9-18-2002

DEMOCRAT

  • You have two cows.
  • Your neighbor has none.
  • You feel guilty for being successful.
  • You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
  • The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
  • You feel righteous.
  • Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST

  • You have two cows.
  • The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
  • You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN

  • You have two cows.
  • Your neighbor has none.
  • So?

COMMUNIST

  • You have two cows.
  • The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
  • You wait in line for hours to get it.
  • It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE

  • You have two cows.
  • You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE

  • You have two cows.
  • The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE

  • You have two cows.
  • The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

  • You have two cows.
  • You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
  • You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
  • You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
  • You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
  • Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

  • You have two cows.
  • You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • You go to lunch.
  • Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

  • You have two cows.
  • You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
  • They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
  • Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

  • You have two cows.
  • You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
  • Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

  • You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
  • While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
  • You break for lunch.
  • Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

  • You have two cows.
  • You count them and learn you have five cows.
  • You have some more vodka.
  • You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
  • You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
  • You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
  • You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months.
  • The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

  • You have a black cow and a brown cow.
  • Everyone votes for the best looking one.
  • Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
  • Some people vote for both.
  • Some people vote for neither.
  • Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
  • Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

NEW YORK CORPORATION

  • You have fifteen million cows.
  • You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

-Author Unknown


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